National Idiot Day

No-one bloody warned me it was National Idiot Day today!

They did however tell Nick and he performed his bout of total idiocy with style!

He's still in Cornwall and has taken it upon himself to make a habit of phoning the kids every night to say goodnight. Not a bad thing. Anyhow - my Nan invited me to go and stay at her's this weekend so I sent Nick a text to advise him that that's where we'd be and make sure he had the phone number.

Oh dear. I thought I was being reasonable. He was Uber pissed off!

He ended up phoning my Nan and saying he was going to drive back from Cornwall and come to get them from her on Saturday. He was very rude about me - saying about how "she fucks off every weekend to see her fucking boyfriend".

Now I should explain here that my Nan is a bit middle class and can come over as a mild, slightly posh old lady who wouldn't say boo to a goose.

Pft! That is SO not her! After knowing her for the best part of a decade, Nick still hasn't figured out where all the women in my family get their sharp tongues from.

Twat!

My Nan's response to that was to tell him something along the lines of "well what do you expect? You haven't been sleeping with her for over a year. You weren't a proper husband. The relationship is over. You can't blame her can you?"

Oh dear Nan - that may have been deserved but it wasn't too helpful!

Nick was SO fucked off about her knowing he hadn't slept with me for ages. When he called me later he was shouting down the phone about everyone knowing about his sexual dysfunction - until I pointed out that the only thing people know actually is that I spent a year and a half sleeping on the sofa - no-one cares whether he can get it up or not!

HAHA

He also said that he has every right to come and collect the kids whenever he wants and I can't stop him and if he wants to come to my Nan's on Saturday and get them then there is nothing that I can do about it.

So I told him that I was taking that as a threat and that he needs to remember that what works for him also works for me and that if I decide to just up and take them off somewhere, then there's nothing he can do about it either.

At that point he shut up - because he still doesn't want me taking Gemima and Aaron to Keith's house.

The man is a natural idiot!