What A Difference A Day (or two) Makes

I began last week with a feeling of utter dread.

I hate July... with a passion! As much as I hate January. After the last year and a half its got to the point where I start to feel sick and then emotionally withdrawn about a week or two before those months arrive (which kind of puts a downer on Christmas and my birthday!).

The reasons, as some of you may know, are because there are a couple of fairly significant anniversaries for Keith which have understandably been difficult for him, therefore consequently, difficult for me too (albeit for completely different reasons).

By last Monday I was an absolute loony (as is probably evident from my blog and a variety of Facebook status updates).

After much talking on Monday and Tuesday night, Keith asked me to come home to him on the Wednesday night. A surprise (a very welcome one) and a significant step forward for me (and him too possibly). Wednesday morning I got a text first thing telling me to go and read a blog he wrote called "Toni Scott - Wonder Woman". If you read his blog (which you should because its really good) you will understand that I reacted first with tears and a sense of disbelief and then with lunacy (I made Karen come down and read it too!).

Needless to say the message DID get through and I DID feel a whole lot better about things after I read it. I'd also like to thank Stephanie for her offer of support should I need it.

I came home to Keith and spent the night with him (it was stressful but that was down to family stuff and kids and fortunately nothing to do with where my head had been going in Monday). It was good to snuggle... which is exactly what we did... all night.

We did the same Thursday night too; Gemima was at her dad's so I headed back to SWF after work.

And for the record... Keith, I LOVE YOU TOO!!

Here we go again

I am a yo-yo... apparently... at least that's what I feel like.

Every six months I go through this.

up... down... up... down... and so on and so forth...

And now we're on to cycle number 4.

I know - its probably easy for people to read this and think they know what I am talking about and think I am being selfish or thoughtless... but I am so rarely selfish or thoughtless.

Sometimes I need to put ME first and its easy to judge someone when you haven't walked in their shoes.

I don't really have much in the way of emotional capacity at the moment.

So for now I am going to go and hide in my head for about a week.

Someone wake me when its over....