I had a really productive meeting with Nick today.
Yes, I know! Shock, horror, gasp! Can it be true???
Yes, it is true. I met Nick in a pub in Bexley to talk about how to move things forward and what to do about care for Gemima.
We were talking for TWO HOURS!!
Two whole hours with no arguments, no swearing, no name calling, no digs or sniping remarks, no accusations. It was good. Just talking like adults.
We talked about court and costs and agreed that it would be better if we could agree things between ourselves and keep the matter out of court. Given that the bill for the barrister who 'represented' me on 4th December was £1000 (which I have to pay!!!), it seems obvious that by the time this is over there will be no money left to fight about because he solicitors will have it all!
Anyhow, he has also agreed that my last proposal was a good one and he is seriously considering it. He has approached the mortgage lender to see if he can get a mortgage for the house and if they agree, he will give me the lump sum I asked for in the proposal.
He also said if they won't give him a mortgage then he is happy to meet me to discuss logistcs of selling the place and how the money should be split.
We also talked about Nick's health in relation to looking after Gemima. His relapse over New Year seems to have been a real wake-up call for him - its the most ill he has been. There were a few tears from him - he got a taste of his own mortality over the last couple of weeks.
The MS is now targeting his respiratory system and that's not good - he was all full of bravado when he was telling me then he just stopped and said very quietly, "people die from that one, don't they." and he cried. That was difficult.
As for gemima - we have agreed that while he's not well, I will have her weekdays and she can go to him for dinner a couple of nights a week but come back to me after - that way he doesn't have full responsibility overnight. She will stay over alternate weekends - his brother will be there to help out if needed.
So, lets see how we go with that. It will be good if he can stick to this without getting all paranoid.
Fingers crossed............
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
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1 comment:
That sounds brilliant. Once the mighty ball of legal proceedings starts rolling it can be difficult to stop it even if you want to, so you have both done really well. Maybe Nick's relapse has refocussed things for him. Here's hoping things continue well.
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