Not A Great Start....

Well, the morning was a good start... lie in and cuddles with no kids about (Sam was still at Sophies).

Fairly relaxed morning and early afternoon - Keith and I didn't do much other than sit about, eat and talk. There were some niggly issues which had been bothering me and events this morning gave rise to opportunity to talk about them. Although it felt awkward for a while, I needed to say them and Keith and I were able to talk things through and come out more positive at the end of it.

Keith and I went to pick Sam up in the early evening, I dropped them both off and headed off to London to pick Gemima up.

Thats where the "not good" started.

I had texted Nick earlier in the day to say I would collect her at 6pm.

As agreed, I arrived at the house at 6pm. If it hadn't been for his car parked on the driveway I would have thought there was no-one in.

I knocked at the door. Gemima answered - that was problem number one for me - she is a tiny 8-year-old - why is she answering the door after dark?!

The next thing to strike me was the smell. The house smelled unpleasant - stale and like the bins haven't been emptied for a while.

Then Gemima peeped out from beind the front door, still in her PJs and announced that she was surprised I was there and she hadn't got dressed at all today.

I looked into the living room, which was a mess. They had been sitting in near darkness, with only the wall lights on at the dimmest setting. She'd been watching Shrek.

I told her we were going to go and get some dinner. She got very excited and told me she had not had any lunch and was hungry.

So I took her up to her room to get some clothes and was shocked at the state of it. I have never seen her room in such a state ( I did tell her later that her room will never be like that when we have a new place to live!). Although it is her responsibility to tidy and clean it I don't think Nick has the energy to get her to do it.

Took a while to get her sorted as it was hard to find anything in her room.

Nick didn't speak to me at all the whole time I was there. When Gemima came into the living room to put her boots on he told her to hurry up, got up and switched off the TV and the wall lights and said he was going to the shop so we'd better leave.

So we left.

In the car Gemima told me she hadn't had any breakfast either! Just a glass of milk and some cookies.

I was disgusted. Being kept all day in that dingy, smelly living room, not getting dressed and not being given anything to eat. It makes me wonder how many times that has happened because Gemima was certainly not acting as though that was anything out of the ordinary.

So I have made a decision.

I am not sending her back.

I can't. The way he has treated her today alone amounts to neglect on his part and I won't condone that.

I sent him a text message at 7.25pm saying:

"Nick, I am concerned. You look ill. The place is a mess and it smells.
Gemima said you have not given her anything to eat today exceot a glass of milk and some cookies. It was a shock to find her still in her PJs at 6pm in near darkness watching TV.
I know its your weekend with her this weekend but I am not convinced you are well enough to look after her. I am going to keep her with me for a while until you are feeling better."

I thought that was probably more diplomatic than telling him that I thought he was an irresponsible lazy excuse of a man who doesn't deserve Gemima!

I still haven't received any response whatsoever.

Anyhow - despite the spanner this may throw in the works in other areas of my life, it means that from now on Gemima will be with me all the time. There is no way I can send her back to that environment.

Who knows - this may just be the best thing for her... but what a shitty start to her new year.