So What Was That About Me Being Unattractive??

Nick was in a right royal strop with me this morning and I am delighted about it.

A bit of a build-up of events really. I woke up in a ridiculously happy mood for some unknown reason. Got the kids up – was larking about with them upstairs then came downstairs to find him still curled up on sofa... so my naughty side came to life... and I called out very loudly “Morning! Time to get up now! Want a cuppa?” as I switched on all the lights and went through to the kitchen.

He was a bit irritated by this for some reason.

He followed me into the kitchen and demanded to know WTF I was so happy about. So I said there’s no reason – I just am. So he grumbled something about me being miserable for weeks which I ignored and then he wandered off.... and then marched back into the kitchen and said “When was it we set up the joint account?” so I said I couldn’t remember and he said “Yeah – because before that I paid everything because you had no income”, to which I reminded him that it doesn’t count because Gemima was under 5 (under school age) and I was home looking after her plus we were getting paid as foster carers and I was the primary carer, so he could just forget about using that one.

Silly man! He was really annoyed that he couldn’t bait me with that.

Now – for some inexplicable reason, he HATES it when anyone compliments me. Drives him mad. And I got two this morning at Gemima’s school.

The first from Gemima’s friend’s mum, Barbara. Barbara and her husband are the friends who Nick has decided are HIS friends and not mine for some reason!

Anyhow, Barbara was talking to Nick when I arrived and when she saw me in my shiny boots and smaller clothes and the gorgeous sparkly purple glittery lipgloss which I was wearing today, she said very loudly in her big Danish voice, “Wow – Toni you are looking REALLY good these days!” and Nick looked SO pissed off!

So I grinned and said thank you and then wandered off to Gemima’s class feeling even chirpier.

The second compliment (of sorts) came from some random bloke who was dropping his kids at the school. He’d parked behind me on the road and had seen me get out of my car going into the school and had been watching me wiggle my way up the road in my high heels as he walked behind me (you know how you can tell when people are looking at you).

Anyhow – he was walking in front of me when I left the school and Nick was walking a pace or two behind me. This bloke stopped and offered to let me walk ahead on the pretext that his toddler was making him slow (he was carrying his toddler!) and that I didn’t want to be getting all wet in the rain. So I smiled and walked round him and then thought that maybe he had done it so he could watch my butt wiggle back up the road again... so I turned and looked and caught him watching!!! And I smiled at him and carried on – but Nick had crossed the road and had obviously seen all this and looked like he was about to explode!

Oh it was SO worth it! So I wiggled my butt a little bit more and grinned all the way back to my car as Nick positively stomped back to his which was parked in front of mine.

Sorry what was that Nick – something about me being physically unattractive??? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaa!!!!!

I feel positively great! Have managed to get on his nerves in three ways this morning – two of them unplanned and unprompted!

Yay - I Get To Go Car Shopping!

I need to have a minor rant about how shite my car insurer is. The stupid people forgot to ask me to send them certain documents (namely MOT, Registration and Certificate of Insurance) which meant that the legal company sorting out the car hire were going to terminate my courtesy car as of tomorrow on the grounds that I hadn't sent the docs in!

Oh My Fucking God! What a stresshead I was when I got THAT call this afternoon!

Anyhow - after several calls back and forth between insurance company and legal company - plus a race back home to get said docs and fax them to stupid insurance company - I finally managed to get assurance that the insurance company are issuing a cheque tomorrow for £1,200 so I can get another car (well the Peugeot was old and knackered) and the legal company will extend the courtesy car agreement to Thursday 13th December.

So I have a week to find another car!

Better get looking then!

Ebay and Autotrader - here I come!!

And The Idiot Has Surpassed Himself

I didn't think it could be done but Nick's level of lunacy dipped to an all time low this morning.

He actually asked me to stop coming to Gemima's school to drop her off in the mornings so that "I can spend more time with my daughter" without me being there.

Yeah, right Nick............... AS IF!!

In his mind, because I drop Aaron to his school every morning for 8.30 by myself, this means I am spending quality time with him, therefore I should not then come to Gemima's school (she goes in at 8.55) because he wants to spend quality time with her.

Eh?? What fucking planet is the man living on?

Anyhow, quite naturally I have politely declined his invitation to butt out of my daughter's life on the grounds that he is a FUCKING UNREASONABLE GOBSHITE.

There - I feel better now!!

Jingle Bells, Santa Smells.....

Oh God! Christfarce is nearly here again. I really can't be arsed with it all this year. I haven't dreaded the whole rigmarole of Christmas this much since my Mum was rushed into intensive care in December 1999 with double pneumonia and multiple organ failure.

Yes, I know I have to do it for the kids.

And I will.

Eventually.

But working up the enthusiasm is tough, especially given all the crap that seems to be coming in my direction at the moment.

Can't say I feel particularly cheery.

The only Christmas Spirit I'll be interested in will come from a Rum bottle!

I'm only glad we arranged for my sister to do it this year. Don't think I would have coped with having it here at all!

Can I just go to sleep now please and someone wake me up when its all over?

Oh Happy Days!!

Today is the anniversary of my former best friend shagging Aaron's (my son's) biological necessity.

Tomorrow it will be the anniversary of me finding out about it.

Deep Fucking Joy!

Although I acknowledge that I got great kids out of my crappy relationships, I do seem to be particularly good at making shit choices!!

Christfarce Non-arrangements

Another long and unproductive chat with Nick tonight. He has decided in his wisdom that it is a good plan to tell the kids about the divorce right before Christmas.

All done in the name of being truthful of course. He apparently doesn't want to use his MS as an excuse for not coming to my sister's for Christmas.

This of course is not him thinking about what is best for a seven-year-old to hear right before Christmas.

And then there is the fact that he doesn't actually know what he is doing over Christmas at all....

He might go to Cornwall to be with his family for a couple of weeks...

Or he might just go for new year...

Or he might not go at all until January...

He might take the kids with him...

Or he might not....

Or he might fuck off to Cornwall by himself, jack his job in and not come back at all...

Who knows???!!!!

Lots of pissing about.

Its all about Nick - as per usual.

Grumble grumble grumble....

My head hurts!

Yes! I've Had a Good Weekend!!!

Stayed at home Friday night - the first time in at least a month. It was weird not being at Keith's on a Friday - didn't feel right somehow. I think I have gotten myself into a routine here. Hopefully Keith doesn't mind too much.

Saturday was nice. With the exception of Nick being an arse in the morning and telling me that although he hadn't intended to make me feel bad about myself for the best part of the last decade, he is actually glad that he did now!!! What a shit!! He did apologise afterwards and put it down to the mood swings caused by the MS but doesn't stop it hurting does it!

Anyhow, I had been going to take Jade and Gemima to Bluewater on Saturday as Richard Hammond was doing a book signing there but when we looked up the times online it appeared that he'd only be there for an hour and it just didn't seem to be worth the hassle of getting all the way there through the throng of Xmas shoppers on the offchance that we may or may not get a book signed.

So the three of us went off to Greenwich to bum around the market and go Christmas Spotting (what we do when we have sod-all money to go shopping!). It was fun - bought a pretty new ring. Actually got 2 Xmas prezzies and spotted several that I am going to get for people.

Drove to Keith's on Saturday evening - got there a full hour and a half before I said I would! Ended up meeting Hazel and an assortment of her friends at a local pub. Wore my very sexy shiny boots which are hard to drive in! Was my first venture out in them other than breaking them in by clomping round the office in them.

Spent today lounging about in the morning, then off to Chelmsford with Keith, Sophie and Sam, then a mass hair-colouring session doing Keith's and Sophie's hair (no time to do mine) before heading off to Ice Hockey.

Chelmsford Chieftains won 3-1 against Milton Keynes. The first game I have seen them win in the month or two that I have been going! Woohoo!!

Roll on next weekend - Pink Toothbrush on Friday, Slimelight on Saturday and London Fetish Fair and Ice Hockey on Sunday. Might need matchsticks under my eyes come Monday!!