So What Was That About Me Being Unattractive??

Nick was in a right royal strop with me this morning and I am delighted about it.

A bit of a build-up of events really. I woke up in a ridiculously happy mood for some unknown reason. Got the kids up – was larking about with them upstairs then came downstairs to find him still curled up on sofa... so my naughty side came to life... and I called out very loudly “Morning! Time to get up now! Want a cuppa?” as I switched on all the lights and went through to the kitchen.

He was a bit irritated by this for some reason.

He followed me into the kitchen and demanded to know WTF I was so happy about. So I said there’s no reason – I just am. So he grumbled something about me being miserable for weeks which I ignored and then he wandered off.... and then marched back into the kitchen and said “When was it we set up the joint account?” so I said I couldn’t remember and he said “Yeah – because before that I paid everything because you had no income”, to which I reminded him that it doesn’t count because Gemima was under 5 (under school age) and I was home looking after her plus we were getting paid as foster carers and I was the primary carer, so he could just forget about using that one.

Silly man! He was really annoyed that he couldn’t bait me with that.

Now – for some inexplicable reason, he HATES it when anyone compliments me. Drives him mad. And I got two this morning at Gemima’s school.

The first from Gemima’s friend’s mum, Barbara. Barbara and her husband are the friends who Nick has decided are HIS friends and not mine for some reason!

Anyhow, Barbara was talking to Nick when I arrived and when she saw me in my shiny boots and smaller clothes and the gorgeous sparkly purple glittery lipgloss which I was wearing today, she said very loudly in her big Danish voice, “Wow – Toni you are looking REALLY good these days!” and Nick looked SO pissed off!

So I grinned and said thank you and then wandered off to Gemima’s class feeling even chirpier.

The second compliment (of sorts) came from some random bloke who was dropping his kids at the school. He’d parked behind me on the road and had seen me get out of my car going into the school and had been watching me wiggle my way up the road in my high heels as he walked behind me (you know how you can tell when people are looking at you).

Anyhow – he was walking in front of me when I left the school and Nick was walking a pace or two behind me. This bloke stopped and offered to let me walk ahead on the pretext that his toddler was making him slow (he was carrying his toddler!) and that I didn’t want to be getting all wet in the rain. So I smiled and walked round him and then thought that maybe he had done it so he could watch my butt wiggle back up the road again... so I turned and looked and caught him watching!!! And I smiled at him and carried on – but Nick had crossed the road and had obviously seen all this and looked like he was about to explode!

Oh it was SO worth it! So I wiggled my butt a little bit more and grinned all the way back to my car as Nick positively stomped back to his which was parked in front of mine.

Sorry what was that Nick – something about me being physically unattractive??? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaa!!!!!

I feel positively great! Have managed to get on his nerves in three ways this morning – two of them unplanned and unprompted!