Aaron came to Keith's with me this weekend. After much discussion, Nick finally agreed to be reasonable and not be shitty about Aaron coming with me - although he is still adamant that Gemima can't come.
Still - its an improvement so I shan't knock it!
Spent a dossy night in all stuck in front of the TV watching Number 23 (or whatever it was called... just 23 stuck in my head). Sent Aaron and Sam off into spirals of lunacy trying to find the number 23 in every possible thing!
Popped online briefly to discover that Vendetta, the club Keith and I had planned to go to tomorrow night, have had to delay their opening night due to some dodgy window installation! Bit disappointed but got over it soon enough as we decided to bugger off to London and go meet Keith's old friend Dennis at the Intrepid Fox instead.
Friday, 11 January 2008
The Joys Of Being A Social Worker
Been a difficult week at work. I had what's probably THE most difficult meeting with a client on Wednesday and its basically pissed all over the rest of the week for me.
Not the client's fault at all. No. As is usually the case in these matters, this problem was caused by the client's family.
I should explain a little. As far as I can without breaching client confidentiality.
I have a client who has a learning disability and autism. They had lived with their mother all their life in the same house until she passed away at the end of last year.
Sadly this client has lost all their immediate family now. No brothers or sisters, parents are both gone, as are aunt and uncle who also used to care for them. All that remain of the family now are distant cousins - children of their father's relatives.
These relatives have not been near nor by in years. They know the client. They knew the circumstances in which the client and the mother were living. The client's mother was elderly and disabled herself, with a multitude of complex health problems.
So anyway - back to the point. A few years before she died, my clients mother took out a substantial loan against her house with the agreement that upon her death the house would be sold to recover the capital.
My client's mother was fiercely independent and refused any support or help from social services - despite our involvement in their care package throughout their life. She would not discuss plans for the client's future after her death - even in the last months before she died. She told me once "when I am gone I won't have to worry about 'X' any more. "X" won't be my problem. I won't be around. But while I am here I will do things the way I want to".
Now you might think that's fair enough, but what it has meant is that she has spent years telling my client that when she dies, social services will "put you away". My client, who is autistic and finds it hard to cope with change, now has to leave the home they have spent 95% of their life in. That would have been difficult enough without having been told they are going to be "put away".
On Wednesday was there was a big meeting to discuss plans for the future. My client was present as the meeting was primarily about them. On the agenda were issues around moving. The family quite happily sat there and discussed finances and time-frames in front of my client. Then I asked the key question. When does the house have to be sold by?
Sadly, it transpired that the family - who have been dealing with the loan company and solicitors around the sale of the house since the end of October last year - had NOT told my client that the house was going to be sold and they would have to leave.
No! Apparently they felt that was the role of the social worker!
Only they forgot to mention to me that they had not told them.
The rest of the meeting was taken up with me trying to calmly explain - in a way the client could understand - that the mother's actions in taking out such a huge loan meant that they now have to leave.
I don't know if I can explain how traumatic it was for my client to hear that or how distressed they became.
I don't know if I can explain how distressing it was for me to have that awful responsibility placed on my shoulders with no warning.
To top it all off, by the time I had got to the point where my client appeared to have a small understanding of what was going to happen, the family decided to pipe up and tell them not to worry about it or think about it and then promptly changed the subject for a few minutes and then left!
To me, that just goes to show how little understanding or respect they have for this person.
I left that meeting feeling completely drained and awful at having been the bearer of SUCH awful news. This client is devastated and although I know it is not my fault, I can't help but feel responsible as I am the one who has broken this to them.
Sometimes this job really sucks.
Not the client's fault at all. No. As is usually the case in these matters, this problem was caused by the client's family.
I should explain a little. As far as I can without breaching client confidentiality.
I have a client who has a learning disability and autism. They had lived with their mother all their life in the same house until she passed away at the end of last year.
Sadly this client has lost all their immediate family now. No brothers or sisters, parents are both gone, as are aunt and uncle who also used to care for them. All that remain of the family now are distant cousins - children of their father's relatives.
These relatives have not been near nor by in years. They know the client. They knew the circumstances in which the client and the mother were living. The client's mother was elderly and disabled herself, with a multitude of complex health problems.
So anyway - back to the point. A few years before she died, my clients mother took out a substantial loan against her house with the agreement that upon her death the house would be sold to recover the capital.
My client's mother was fiercely independent and refused any support or help from social services - despite our involvement in their care package throughout their life. She would not discuss plans for the client's future after her death - even in the last months before she died. She told me once "when I am gone I won't have to worry about 'X' any more. "X" won't be my problem. I won't be around. But while I am here I will do things the way I want to".
Now you might think that's fair enough, but what it has meant is that she has spent years telling my client that when she dies, social services will "put you away". My client, who is autistic and finds it hard to cope with change, now has to leave the home they have spent 95% of their life in. That would have been difficult enough without having been told they are going to be "put away".
On Wednesday was there was a big meeting to discuss plans for the future. My client was present as the meeting was primarily about them. On the agenda were issues around moving. The family quite happily sat there and discussed finances and time-frames in front of my client. Then I asked the key question. When does the house have to be sold by?
Sadly, it transpired that the family - who have been dealing with the loan company and solicitors around the sale of the house since the end of October last year - had NOT told my client that the house was going to be sold and they would have to leave.
No! Apparently they felt that was the role of the social worker!
Only they forgot to mention to me that they had not told them.
The rest of the meeting was taken up with me trying to calmly explain - in a way the client could understand - that the mother's actions in taking out such a huge loan meant that they now have to leave.
I don't know if I can explain how traumatic it was for my client to hear that or how distressed they became.
I don't know if I can explain how distressing it was for me to have that awful responsibility placed on my shoulders with no warning.
To top it all off, by the time I had got to the point where my client appeared to have a small understanding of what was going to happen, the family decided to pipe up and tell them not to worry about it or think about it and then promptly changed the subject for a few minutes and then left!
To me, that just goes to show how little understanding or respect they have for this person.
I left that meeting feeling completely drained and awful at having been the bearer of SUCH awful news. This client is devastated and although I know it is not my fault, I can't help but feel responsible as I am the one who has broken this to them.
Sometimes this job really sucks.
Thursday, 10 January 2008
Glad The Day Is Almost Over!
Oh God! What a day its been!
Up at the crack of dawn to go and see my solicitor the second their offices opened. That was eventful. Hopefully things can get moving a bit now as they seem to have come to a standstill.
My solicitor asked if Nick and I have reached an agreement about finances. After I picked myself up off the floor and stopped laughing I explained my conversation with Nick of a few days ago during which he said that I should accept that anything he agrees to now could be subject to change as he has the right to change his mind and he is not making any long-term plans - in fact he is not planning anything further than a few weeks in advance.
So my solicitor is going to speak to his solicitor and the chances are at this rate the courts will decide what's what. Probably for the best anyway as Nick and I can barely agree what the time is at the moment let alone anything of any importance!
I was on duty today. I was also the only social worker in the office until about 4pm! Duty is supposed to run from 1pm-5pm but the issues started coming in from about 11am and by 1pm there was a stack of about six urgent cases which had to be dealt with immediately!
Again... I ask.... why do I do this job?
Finally finished work at about 7.10pm and got to my Mum's to pick up kids. She kindly allowed me to raid her fridge as mine is looking pretty sparse. I've been living on tinned soup for lunch and celery with philadelphia for dinner for the best part of this week. Partly because that's all there was and partly because I can't be arsed to cook really - except for the lamb casserole I made the other day. Kids are eating at Mum's anyway so at least they're OK.
Got a mini interrogation about my trip to the solicitor when I got home. Managed to tell him bugger all, put the kids to bed and vanish off up here to my freezing cold loft room to escape off into planet blog (not forgetting MySpazz, Farcebook and MSN!)
Oh - and of course I am all packed and ready to go to Keith's tomorrow after work. YAY! Aaron is coming with me this weekend. He is VERY excited about it!
Roll on Friday!
Up at the crack of dawn to go and see my solicitor the second their offices opened. That was eventful. Hopefully things can get moving a bit now as they seem to have come to a standstill.
My solicitor asked if Nick and I have reached an agreement about finances. After I picked myself up off the floor and stopped laughing I explained my conversation with Nick of a few days ago during which he said that I should accept that anything he agrees to now could be subject to change as he has the right to change his mind and he is not making any long-term plans - in fact he is not planning anything further than a few weeks in advance.
So my solicitor is going to speak to his solicitor and the chances are at this rate the courts will decide what's what. Probably for the best anyway as Nick and I can barely agree what the time is at the moment let alone anything of any importance!
I was on duty today. I was also the only social worker in the office until about 4pm! Duty is supposed to run from 1pm-5pm but the issues started coming in from about 11am and by 1pm there was a stack of about six urgent cases which had to be dealt with immediately!
Again... I ask.... why do I do this job?
Finally finished work at about 7.10pm and got to my Mum's to pick up kids. She kindly allowed me to raid her fridge as mine is looking pretty sparse. I've been living on tinned soup for lunch and celery with philadelphia for dinner for the best part of this week. Partly because that's all there was and partly because I can't be arsed to cook really - except for the lamb casserole I made the other day. Kids are eating at Mum's anyway so at least they're OK.
Got a mini interrogation about my trip to the solicitor when I got home. Managed to tell him bugger all, put the kids to bed and vanish off up here to my freezing cold loft room to escape off into planet blog (not forgetting MySpazz, Farcebook and MSN!)
Oh - and of course I am all packed and ready to go to Keith's tomorrow after work. YAY! Aaron is coming with me this weekend. He is VERY excited about it!
Roll on Friday!
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Blah....
Its been one of "those days" today. Started off a bit wierd. Nick approached me in a bit of a huff and was adamant that he has not told Gemima he wants her to live with him.
Apparently he had a nice chat with her last night while I was out during which she told him all about her conversation with my Mum.
He was pissed off that my Mum had spoken to her at all. Said she must have been questioning Gemima about things and putting ideas in her head (that from the master manipulator!) and he was angry that my Mum had apparently told Gemima that he will not be able to look after her, will end up in a wheelchair and will need to have a carer!
Oh what a fucking palava! I would like to just discount what he is saying and call him a lying bastard but my Mum, with the best intentions I am sure, has been known to interfere in the past and has been known to do the whole "questioning" routine.
So now I don't know what to believe.
Ah - fuck it all - I just reassured Gemima that no matter what anyone else says, or whatever happens in future, I love her very much and none of this is her fault. Its all I can do I suppose.
Apparently he had a nice chat with her last night while I was out during which she told him all about her conversation with my Mum.
He was pissed off that my Mum had spoken to her at all. Said she must have been questioning Gemima about things and putting ideas in her head (that from the master manipulator!) and he was angry that my Mum had apparently told Gemima that he will not be able to look after her, will end up in a wheelchair and will need to have a carer!
Oh what a fucking palava! I would like to just discount what he is saying and call him a lying bastard but my Mum, with the best intentions I am sure, has been known to interfere in the past and has been known to do the whole "questioning" routine.
So now I don't know what to believe.
Ah - fuck it all - I just reassured Gemima that no matter what anyone else says, or whatever happens in future, I love her very much and none of this is her fault. Its all I can do I suppose.
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Its Off To The Pub We Go...!
Spent a very nice impromptu evening in the pub.
Got a call from Michael, my brother's friend, inviting me to come to the Gypsy Moth in Greenwich for a quick drink. Had to pick Jade up from her boyfriend's house first so we both ended up meeting Michael in the pub.
It was the first time Jade and I have been to the pub together for a drink since she turned 18.
It was a fun night. Lots of reminiscing and taking the piss out of me for things I got up to in my hugely misspent youth.
Also very much pisstaking because I spent a good chunk of the evening texting back and forth between a certain other friend of mine who shall, for his own protection, remain nameless at this present time!
*HUGE GRIN*
Got a call from Michael, my brother's friend, inviting me to come to the Gypsy Moth in Greenwich for a quick drink. Had to pick Jade up from her boyfriend's house first so we both ended up meeting Michael in the pub.
It was the first time Jade and I have been to the pub together for a drink since she turned 18.
It was a fun night. Lots of reminiscing and taking the piss out of me for things I got up to in my hugely misspent youth.
Also very much pisstaking because I spent a good chunk of the evening texting back and forth between a certain other friend of mine who shall, for his own protection, remain nameless at this present time!
*HUGE GRIN*
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
